Friday, February 11, 2011

Finding joy......amidst the disease

Finding Joy, I think that was the title of a C.S. Lewis book about his American wife.   Well, it certainly applies to the story of finding 'Biblo'.    I don't mean the hobbit, I am speaking of my little Shi Tzu dog who I brought into our home just over 9 years ago.     It is interesting that sometimes when we do things that appear at the moment to be rather crazy, end up being one of the best things we could have done.   I have been very aware of this lately and this event came to mind.

I was just finished chemo.  I had been diagnosed with Stage IIIc, Grade 3, Ovarian Cancer six months prior and had spent the past six months having surgery and chemo.   The chemo was horrendous and our house had been full of strangers and family on and off for the entire time.  This was a good thing, but it had caused so much chaos in our lives we didn't know which end was up or down, or what was missing!

It was at the end of my chemo and it was the beginning of December so it was very cold.   My daughter desperately needed a new winter coat so we took a day and went shopping.   That is all very relevant b/c in those days....going shopping meant one store, in and out, and then home again exhausted!
We went to the mall and as we were walking in we happened to look into the pet store.   There was a little white ball of fur, all by herself, in a a cage  just calling out to us.   We went in and of course I said "can I hold her" and well you know the rest.....done!   So we ended up leaving with this little ball of fur.   As I mentioned that was the one store so off we went home.....coat less unless you count the four legged one with the furry coat!    Crazy, right.   You don't know how crazy.   I already had a dog at home, and he wasn't the kind to like new additions.   Well, we brought our little bundle home, and put her on the floor.  Our dog came over thinking it was a stuffed toy and proceeded to pick her up.   Then she moved, and he leaped backwards swallowing his bark, and never attempted to do that again.   They were, if not friends, housemates until his death last March (he was 16 years old)

Everyone thought I had lost my mind, including me, and I  just blamed it on a very 'low sugar' moment.   It may seem like something crazy to do, but in the end it was a God incident.  I don't believe in coincidences.
This little bundle of fur brought JOY back into our home....something we hadn't even noticed was missing b/c we were so wrapped up in all the dark, scary  stuff about cancer.   All of a sudden we were laughing out loud, giggling with each other, and calling to one another to 'come see Bilbo' do this or that.   We had found joy again through this little furry creature.   I have never for a moment regretted bringing her home, and my daughter doesn't even mind that she spent the entire winter season in a coat that was really a bit too small for her.

Never underestimate what little event in your life may be the event that will turn things around.   Again, living in the moment without all the baggage of what ifs, or maybe nots, is really important when you have a serious illness.   If it feels like it is suppose to happen, than maybe it is even if everyone else thinks your nuts.    Biblo is still here and still makes me laugh, and I often refer to her as my chemo dog.     Low blood sugar or not, she was destined to be a member of our house.
I have no desire this time to get another dog......but I did recently get two kittens.....OMG

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