Wholeness......equals deep love!

Normally I offer my own thoughts and reflections but today I offer this amazing meditation as what I would truly like to achieve in my life. ......wholeness.   For many years I worked at trying to let the inside and outside of myself be the same.    I think in many ways I achieved that, and can honestly say that I do know how I feel and often am able to articulate it.   I have also come to understand that life is to be lived to its fullest, as Christ says "abundantly"!     I have come to a point in my life that I realize the importance of living the messiness and learning the lessons that life offers up....Richard Rohr (Franciscan Monk) offers this understanding of life in his meditation for New Years..   I feel that Richard's words are worth repeating here in order to take them to a deeper level in my being.   I honestly do want to become whole.....not necessarily in a physical way.....and I want to begin the second half of life.....accepting this understanding of the purpose for life and living allows me to know that with or without my disease I can attain the fullness of life. .....it is not dependent on how long I live or how perfect my life....it is attitude I take to life and what I see as the meaning and purpose of it.....to love deeply and to see everything as whole!!!!.

RESOLVE TO SEEK WHOLENESS Unless you let the truth of life teach you on its own terms, unless you develop some concrete practices for recognizing and overcoming your dualistic mind, you will remain in the first half of life forever—as most humanity has up to now. In the first half of life, you cannot work with the imperfect, nor can you accept the magic sense of life, which finally means that you cannot love anything or anyone at any depth. Nothing is going to change in history as long as most people are merely dualistic, either-or thinkers. Such splitting and denying leaves us at the level of mere information. Whole people see and create wholeness wherever they go; split people see and create splits in everything and everybody. We are meant to see in wholes and no longer just in parts. Yet we get to the whole by falling down into the messy parts—so many times, in fact, that we long and thirst for the wholeness and fullness of all things, including ourselves. I promise you this unified field is the only and lasting meaning of up. Adapted from Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves

Another death another lesson!

Seems that there is more time between postings as time goes on.  I have been sleeping alot lately which in my mind is a good thing.   I think I am catching up on 10 years of exhaustion and finally feeling o.k. about accepting the fact that I am truly 'sick and tired' of being 'sick and tired'.

Yesterday was a very difficult day on many levels though.   I had to attend a funeral and it was one of mammoth proportions.   A woman who was very active and well known  died very suddenly.   Again, a lesson in how precious this thing called life is.   Each day is a gift and we, esp here in North American, rarely realize that until something like this happens.  I know in some ways I have been blessed with the knowledge of this fact, but even so I often live like tomorrow is a guarantee and don't say the things that should be said or do the things that should be done.   Anyways, her funeral was absolutely a tribute to her and to her works.   It was a real reminder of what is important in life, love and good deeds...that is all that we are asked of....nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.

It was also very hard because her beautiful daughter was so close to her mother.  It reminded me very much of the relationship that I have been very blessed to have with my own.   They talked every day and were very much a part of each others lives.   Meaning, that this is going to be very difficult for her daughter....but in the long term it is this closeness that will give her the most comfort.   What made it so hard for me is to see how upset and sad she was.....knowing that too would be mine.   As she walked up the aisle in the church she and her Dad just held onto each other, holding each other up.  My heart broke but then all I could think of was 'who will hold my daughter up'.    It hit me like a brick and I just started to sob.   Not something that I am accustomed to doing even at a funeral.  I mean it is what I do for a living.....hatch, match and dispatch!....but it was good for me.  I cried,held a friend's hand and after answered my own question....all those who I know love her.

Life can throw many punches at you, but each one is an opportunity to deal with and learn something new.  Today I know that even though it will be difficult when my time comes that she will survive if a little more sad and lonely.   Those around will gather and love her....just as we all did yesterday for this young woman and her Dad.    Love is an amazing thing, it doesn't cost us anything, it is so simple to give, and in most cases it is accepted without any argument......so live each day and love and all will be well in our world........

P.S. Off to the Toronto International Film Festival today.....maybe I will see Brad Pitt:}   even people with cancer still get excited about the silly things in life....YEA

Mourning..........

Today I was kicked in the gut!   We lost a great Canadian today much to soon.   He struggled like many of us with cancer and unfortunately the cancer won.    Sixteen weeks ago he lived the greatest moment in his political career, leading the NDP from an almost non-existent force in Canadian politics to the Opposition Party.    As was said on twitter "he was the great Prime Minister Canada never had".......

In the midst of his own struggle he was still thinking about how we (those suffering from cancer) might lose hope in our own struggles when we saw that he lost his.    He reminded us that we are fortunate to live in a country and a  time where cancer treatments are very successful, and that we must continue to be hopeful and optimistic in our own battle.   I usually don't use these warrior type words when I speak of cancer but today that is how I feel....like we are at war with this horrible disease.    It is at times like this when I realize the incredible people we are losing to this disease......Jack Layton was a unique human being and a real politician....of the people, for the people!   A man of courage, passion and vision.....now gone from us because of a disease that seems to be winning more lately in my life than losing.    I will hang on his words of living in the moment and cherishing our loved ones and the time we have with them......

I can say it no better than he:     "love is better than anger.   Hope is better than fear.   Optimism is better than despair.  So, let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic"     Rest in peace Jack.....you have done your job and it is now our turn to carry the torch........may Canadians hold your family in their hearts and prayers.