Seems that there is more time between postings as time goes on. I have been sleeping alot lately which in my mind is a good thing. I think I am catching up on 10 years of exhaustion and finally feeling o.k. about accepting the fact that I am truly 'sick and tired' of being 'sick and tired'.
Yesterday was a very difficult day on many levels though. I had to attend a funeral and it was one of mammoth proportions. A woman who was very active and well known died very suddenly. Again, a lesson in how precious this thing called life is. Each day is a gift and we, esp here in North American, rarely realize that until something like this happens. I know in some ways I have been blessed with the knowledge of this fact, but even so I often live like tomorrow is a guarantee and don't say the things that should be said or do the things that should be done. Anyways, her funeral was absolutely a tribute to her and to her works. It was a real reminder of what is important in life, love and good deeds...that is all that we are asked of....nothing more, nothing less, nothing else.
It was also very hard because her beautiful daughter was so close to her mother. It reminded me very much of the relationship that I have been very blessed to have with my own. They talked every day and were very much a part of each others lives. Meaning, that this is going to be very difficult for her daughter....but in the long term it is this closeness that will give her the most comfort. What made it so hard for me is to see how upset and sad she was.....knowing that too would be mine. As she walked up the aisle in the church she and her Dad just held onto each other, holding each other up. My heart broke but then all I could think of was 'who will hold my daughter up'. It hit me like a brick and I just started to sob. Not something that I am accustomed to doing even at a funeral. I mean it is what I do for a living.....hatch, match and dispatch!....but it was good for me. I cried,held a friend's hand and after answered my own question....all those who I know love her.
Life can throw many punches at you, but each one is an opportunity to deal with and learn something new. Today I know that even though it will be difficult when my time comes that she will survive if a little more sad and lonely. Those around will gather and love her....just as we all did yesterday for this young woman and her Dad. Love is an amazing thing, it doesn't cost us anything, it is so simple to give, and in most cases it is accepted without any argument......so live each day and love and all will be well in our world........
P.S. Off to the Toronto International Film Festival today.....maybe I will see Brad Pitt:} even people with cancer still get excited about the silly things in life....YEA