When I began this blog almost a year ago I had these ideas that it was my way of using a bad thing to maybe share some insights for others. Well, I realize now that it has become a really good way of keeping myself honest about what is happening on this journey called life. Whether it helps someone else has become secondary. I seemed to have left the bus behind and am travelling more in my own vehicle just allowing others to wave as I drive by. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think in many ways I have spent a good part of the last ten years trying to see how my journey can effect others instead of honestly looking at it and experiencing it purely from a selfish point of view.
Well, it sucks sometimes and right now I don't really care if it helps someone else. I am sad on many levels and I need to work things out. I realize that cancer isn't the only thing that I have had to deal with lately. I am starting to think that perhaps this 'empty' nest stage is taking more of a toll on me than I have been willing to admit. I will start working through that and see if maybe I will be feeling a bit more chipper. So....can't write too much today because I haven't the energy nor the insight at this point but I am beginning to reflect on more of life's experiences rather than just the cancer one.