Pages

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Holidays.....from realities!

Back to reality....always a hard transition after a time away.    It seems that there are a couple of ways that time away affects me.   There is the physical vacation which we all know of, but then there is the mental vacation that I find also takes place.   It is like I go to a new place, where few people actually know me, and I can take a vacation from the disease too.   I can pretend for a short time that I am the same as, or at least not different from, everyone else.   It really helps to feel normal (the 'old normal ') for awhile.

I can remember the very first time this happened.   It was just after I had been diagnosed and we travelled to the East Coast.    I was still very ill, and in between chemo, but it was like I had left all that behind for a period of time.   On the way back, as we were driving closer and closer towards home, I could fee a pall come over me.   It was like the air around me was getting heavier (it might have due to the humidity in this part of the world) and that all the problems were being placed back on my shoulders.   I started to become depressed, quiet, and felt sick again.  I even remember being asked 'what's wrong' a few times so the energy that I was giving off must have changed as well.

It still happens all these years later.    Even now, I feel the difference when I am on my way back home.    Not as bad mind you, but still that feeling that I have to pick up the burden and carry it again.   I am sure that it is the same for everyone to some degree.   Vacations give you that time away from the everyday problems and worries and we all must re-enter our own realities.

Well, I am back from a wonderful holiday of sun, sand, sea (and sea lice!!!! yuk) and am slowly picking up my burdens.....I have learnt one thing over the  years, you don't have to lift them all up at one time. I take my time and slowly move back into my reality, every once in while going back and re-living the holiday by gazing at the pictures I took......have a look and enjoy.....


Sun, sand and sea............................


Sitting and gazing...........


Sunsets..............

Celebrating ..................



Cheers................................................