Wednesday, January 26, 2011

"In the moment"

One thing I learn everyday is there is no such thing as Certainty!!!!   I suggest if you haven't seen the movie 'Doubt' you should.

Well, I bared my soul last night about how upset I was at the news about my niece and even went so far as to ask the question I always tell people not to ask "WHY".    Of course, my brain and my heart went to the unmentionable conclusion that all was lost......and then miracles happen.    Today I received word that they believe that the surgery they performed removed 'all' the cancerous cells in her lung.   I know that it may not be permanent but 'in this moment' things are wonderful.   YEAHHHHHHH

As I know in my deepest being.....'this moment' is all we really have anyways.   We are not guaranteed anything else and that is why it is so important to just live in the moment, not in the past or the future.  I have learnt this again through this event, but also through a less important but just as educational moment.   It is through my knitting that I am learning how truly important it is to live right in the moment and not allow my mind to wander to future or past events, or to try and solve problems in my head.    Alas, it is very telling if you screw up your knitting!!!!!
I have been trying to knit a very intricate and detailed shawl.   I made a resolution that this year I would do the past I have made similar resolutions and to my credit have fulfilled a number of them so am determined to fulfill this one too.   So, as I was saying, I have been TRYING to knit this particular shawl.  I absolutely love it which means that I will persevere....but I am learning that I have a tendency to let my mind wander.   I will be knitting along watching exactly what I am doing, following the pattern very carefully (I even have a magnet board and ruler underlining the row) and all of a sudden I will do a stitch count and for some unknown reason I will either have too many or too few stitches.  Now, if you aren't a knitter, this may not see like a major issue....but when doing something this intricate one stitch too many or too few can make a huge difference.  Of course, then I spend forever trying to figure out what happened...which of course matters not because I still have the wrong stitch count...interesting that even in these times we still try to know WHY!!!! as if that matters at all.   Anyways, I realized that each time this happens it is due to my lack of focus and attention.  I am no longer in 'the moment' I have moved to some other time.   It has been very humbling to figure this out as I have always thought that I truly did live in the moment. I am constantly reminding people to do so too.  Obviously, I am not as perfect as I though and still need to work on this.   I am not upset at this revelation but rather grateful for it.  It just goes to show that even in the small day to day events of our lives we are capable of making some very helpful and interesting discoveries.    So, you don't need to be diagnosed with a terrible illness to learn this important lesson.......just take up knitting!

Off I go to practice 'living in the moment'....another really good excuse to spend more time knitting!!!!

1 comment:

Pat said...

My dear E....I just read your last two blogs today and I am so sorry to hear the news about your niece. I wish I had known yesterday because I could have given you a hug when I saw you. Your thoughts on the whole in the moment thing remind me of a mantra I have forced myself to practise when I get negative or lazy thoughts.... "do it because I can". Some others legitimately cannot. Prayers and thoughts for both you and your niece.