Ok, so today I woke up and decided it was time to stop the pity party. I have been in a not so good mood for awhile and it is taking a toll on my sanity. I 'kicked' myself in the butt today and made a decision to start seeing things in a better light. I am always saying that it is 'attitude' that you take to life that determines how you see reality, but lately my attitude has sucked. Not that I am apologizing for it, nor that I don't sometimes deserve to be miserable, just that the time has come to move on.
I have been slowly being drawn into the holiday spirit, and made the decision today to bring that spirit to my own home. Went to Michael's to get some crafty stuff to make wreaths, something I haven't done since my daughter was little. Then we (my daughter and I) decorated some wreaths. It is a beginning to what I think is going to be a very nice Christmas. The holiday season is often seen as a time that we are suppose to be happy, and full of hohoho's but sometimes it just doesn't work. That is fine as long as it is a conscious decision to be a 'grinch'. There have been a few years where that is how I felt and I heard someone say one time "how you feel when you put your feet on the ground in the morning (esp Christmas) is fine"....but the same goes for deciding to be happy too.
I am determined to make this year a great time. I know that I may feel lousy some days and the pain may get to me, but overall I am going to have a nice time. I am going to make the best of a bad situation. It isn't always easy, but just living in the moment, and one day at a time and anything is possible. I just hope that I can postpone the surgery till after Christmas so that I am mobile for the holiday....hard to cook turkey and wrap presents when you gut is sliced open. My daughter made a joke (or what she thought was a joke) today. She said, as we parked far away for the door to Michael's as I always do, "when you have your surgery will you get a handicapped parking permit?"....as she smiled and got out of the car. I am a firm believer that the people who park close to the doors of stores all PAY for gym memberships......I digress as usual.