O.K. have made a decision to tell my mom. Going to do it tomorrow night. After a long discussion with my brother and his very wise advise about 'it will upset her but that is o.k. she's your mother and she would really want to know cause that's what mom's are for'....plus a whole lot more sage advice. It is difficult and that is why I don't want to do it...I pretend it is because of her but the reality is I don't want to deal with the fall out so it is because of me not her. We do spend an awful lot of time telling ourselves that we don't want to hurt someone or upset someone with bad news concerning ourselves, but the truth is we are protecting ourselves not them. I would want to know as a mother, and would be heartbroken if my daughter felt she couldn't come to me...esp with really serious stuff.....so here goes.
Send positive energy my way and hers too......all will be well, and I do know in my heart this is the right thing to do........
4 comments:
Sending lots of positive energy and a big hug too your way. I know this was a very hard decision for you but I truly believe it is the right one. Remember Elizabeth you are not alone on this journey. There are alot of passengers on your bus family and friends who are there to love and support you.
One of the things that pisses me off about cancer is doesn't come with a damn instruction manual! Not only is it an insidious bitch but at least it could give you some protocol to follow!
Yes, unless your mom has some type of dementia and will forget what you have told her I think letting her know is the right thing to do. I know you want to protect her from the hurt and worry but as parents, it is something you sign up for when you become a parent. You need her unconditional love and support right now. You deserve it too. We only have one mother on this journey and there is no love like a mother's love.
I wish you were closer and I could bring you some of my awesome spaghetti. If people ask what they can do tell they! It could be as simple as making a little larger portion when they are cooking and dropping it by. People really do like to help but with the "C" word people don't know what to do.
I am wishing you and your mom lots of love right now. I really hope you can feel the love that blogger world is sending out. You may be on the other side of Canada but you have someone that is praying and sending positive energy your way.
As you say, you keep it a secret for yourself. BUT, I found out that those I was afraid to tell i.e. Mom were probably stronger than me in the end. They tend to have a "take charge" strength that does not impose but supports. It also is a release to you for sharing your illness with someone you love. I think you will sense relief once you and your Mother have burdened the news together. As far as supplies while you are having treatment, hey what about the LRM group? We are not just a knitting group, we are your family of friends and we will care for you as you need it. But you also will have to share what you want and need so that we can be there. You are not getting rid of us that easily - we would miss your wonderful stories! As a matter of fact, I will take the steering wheel while you recant.
You are brave and wise and in my prayers.
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