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Saturday, December 18, 2010

Do it anyway.......

I am very good at giving advice to others on how to handle events in their lives.  What I realize, and this is not the first time I have had this revelation, I often am great at giving advice but do not listen to my own voice.   This week I had an opportunity to hear myself telling someone else that they must live in the moment.  Not only live in the moment, but even FORCE themselves to do things that are 'normal' just to get through the moment.   Hmmmmmmm......that's very interesting!   I have not been feeling very Christmasy this year although I have not let on to many that is how I feel.   I hadn't decorated, didn't really think much about presents, and just wasn't in the mood....then I heard my voice advicing someone else.   So..........

The house is now decorated, and quite nicely I might add.  It is the first Christmas in this particular house. (I have an aside....I have always said that I don't get attached to material things or places and so I don't get really negative vibes from past experiences.   Well that might be true, but I just realized that I have yet to spend two times in any one house having chemo.   So maybe I just move each time giving me the false impression that it doesn't bother me.   Just a thought......more on that later) As I was saying, being the first time in this house it was a new challange to find out where do I put the tree, how do I display things.   Of course, that is after I clean, clean, clean, because I will be re-arranging furniture and those dust balls (cat hair balls more likely) that have been behind the couch start to fly all over the place.   So, I began the task, without much energy but found that as time went on I became more and more excited, and eventually decorated far beyond my original plan.   It is true that mind over matter can be quite fruitful.     As the house became more festive so did my mood, and then my emotional state of mind started to take a turn.   I went shopping for little gifts and wrapped some gifts, and even started knitting a couple of things that I had planned on but hadn't gotten around to.  I mailed some gifts that should have gone out weeks ago (so of course it cost me a fortune in mailing) but it felt so good to do it I didn't care!

It is going to be a very Merry Christmas at my house this year....with lots of good spirits, good will, and good wine too!.   I am actually starting to really look forward to next week.   So to everyone who feels like a grinch, or is just sad and a little low, my advice (and I did take it myself) is MAKE youself do something Christmasy and see if it doesn't actually make you feel better.    I have a saying "fake it till you make it" and this year I did and you know what "I made it"......

So, for all you passengers on the'denial bus'...we have parked for the time being and are going on an emotional holiday to celebrate Christmas with friends and family.....suggest you all do the same....

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