I recently had a very good lesson in the 'theory of relativity'......It was very eye opening!
On November 5, I learned that my cancer had metastasized to the hip which was a surprise for everyone, doctors included, as it was not even on our radar. To say I was devastated is an understatement. I was more upset about this news than I had been about the first two diagnosis.....it felt like a death knell. Then, on November 28th, I saw an ortho surgeon who explained to me that he could resect the hip bone and rebuild it but first he wanted a bone scan. The purpose of the bone scan was to see if the cancer had travelled anywhere else in the skeletal system. The reason this was necessary was that if it had, the surgery would not change the outcome. Oh.....so now I feel even worse....omg this might just be the end of the journey as far as possible treatments. For two weeks I waited under a cloud of very heavy and black foreboding. It was awful. I was told it might be a month before the bone scan. How was I going to wait that long and then again for results? One day later I got a call, bone scan was scheduled for December 3 and a return appointment for results on December 9....the irony is that made me even more nervous because they were moving so fast. Even the doctors were worried....Yikes....poor medical system they can't win:)
So Tuesday December 9th I returned to the ortho doctor to get my results. No spots seen anywhere else!!!! Yippee it is ONLY in my hip! What a change from November 5 when I thought that was the worst news. Now it seemed to be the best news. IT IS ALL RELATIVE!!!!!!!
So, there is cheering on the bus.....everyone is allowed to yell, scream, and laugh as loud as you like.
The news is good......only hip metastasis...who would have thought I would be cheering this news.
Now, we wait for surgery. Not till early January so it will be a great Christmas. I decided on the way home yesterday that I WILL put up a tree.....and hopefully my 'little' puppy won't take it down!
I am excited for the holidays and can feel the difference in my body of how the news changed my stress levels. My daughter said that she physically saw me relax as the doctor gave me the news. News that a few weeks earlier had made me stressed out now made me relax. Life can be very funny sometimes.
It will be a tough surgery and after hearing all the gory details yesterday of how and what they will do, I did have a few bad moments last evening as I was drifting off to sleep. All the risks and what ifs....but I pushed them aside and began to imagine the upcoming days of Christmas with my beautiful granddaughter and her amazing parents. I am blessed in so many ways how can I not be joyful.
Life is not always what we want or expect....but sometimes we need to put it all in perspective and focus on the good stuff. January will come and it will be tough, but for now I will take good drugs, feel happy and blessed, and enjoy the moment.......
My prayer for everyone is that what ever Christmas is this year.....find the nugget of joy in your lives and make it the focus of the season........remember God is with us.......during this season and forever!