New Years.....hmmmm what does that really mean. In some ways my new year begins every June 27th, which is the day that I was diagnosed with cancer. It is more real to me in so many ways b/c it actually means that I have made it ONE MORE YEAR. But, I must admit 2012 is feeling pretty good too!
Who would have thought that I would be here. Not the doctors, or the statistics, but that just goes to show that really none of us know how long we have on this earth. Each day is a new day, an opportunity for a new beginning. We don't have to wait till January 1, to decide to do things differently, or better, or just accept the world as it is. We have the wonderful blessing of being able to do that each morning that we wake up breathing.
So today, as you can see I woke up breathing. As the rest of the world I must admit I did take stock of my life and wonder what I would do differently this year. Of course, my first thought was what could I do to challenge myself? Well that led me to think what could I try and KNIT more challenging. Not life changing by any means but important in my little piece of the world. Then I took stock of all the things that I try to do and decided perhaps it was time to maybe let go of a few things. That in itself will be more life changing. I am way too busy, and go and go till I crash. A remnant of my past when I had more energy than I knew what to do with. That has been the hardest thing for me to get used to. I mean, I even had a few moments of insanity lately where I thought perhaps I could actually go back to full time employment in Chaplaincy. Thank goodness I have sane people around me who just looked at me and 'laughed'. Although my daughter, who is now grown and on her own, was a little bit more articulate.....she said "no you aren't....all the other times I just smiled and thought let her find out for herself that she can't...but this time I am putting my foot down....NO!" I wasn't upset by the response, but I did realize that OMG she has grown up to be just like her mother!!!!!!!
Ten years ago this month, my daughter was just about to turn 13 and I decided that we must begin to share memories b/c I wasn't sure I would be around to celebrate many more Christmases and birthdays. We had the best time by going to Toronto and staying at a hotel and seeing the play Lion King. It was memorable!....it was also the beginning of a new way of being in the world.
I will continue to be that new person....one who appreciates relationships, activities with family and friends, and just waking up each day and being grateful for the life I have however long it may be. I have many memories from the past 10 years and so today I will sit and reflect on the blessings that I have already received.......and I will do that in front of the fireplace my daughter and her partner gave me for Christmas.....I mean come on....I can still appreciate a good gift too!!!!!!!!
Happy New Year.....and may each and everyone one have an Attitude of Gratitude this year!!!!!!