Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Last post till post surgery!

I am writing this post Christmas. I had a great holiday and am grateful for that.  The past week has not been so good.     I have spend the past four years writing about my journey with cancer and feel in many ways I had no idea what I was talking about.    I have had times when I was not well or felt tired but never have I felt this much pain.    My cancer has taken over my every minute.   I can't read, knit, watch t.v. or anything.   How people live in this condition for long periods of time is far beyond my ability to imagine.    Bone pain must be the worst pain ......nothing seems to completely alleviate it.

I struggle each day just to try and find the middle ground between bearable pain and sleep.   A funny aside is that if you actually read the side effects and all the warnings on the pain meds you would wonder how anyone would even take them.    You can suffer from so many more life threatening ailments than the pain you are trying to alleviate....the pain seems the minor of the two.   

Then there are the other issues that ensue because of the medication, so you have to take medication to keep all the other bodily functions going.   

So, for now I will wait for surgery, and not attempt to write this blog anymore.   I feel that I have been naïve in what I believed to be a tough journey.   So, far I feel that I have been blessed with little pain and just fatigue.   I am now making up for it.

Please forgive me for stepping away from the world for the time being.    I am not able to tolerate much these days so I am staying close to home.    My daughter is being an angel and I don't know how I could go through this without her.    Prayers are needed if for nothing else but to allow me to sleep for the next week and a half.

1 comment:

Birdie said...

I think you did know what you were talking about. You were writing your truth at that time. The old adage, "If I knew then what I know know..."
As for medications, they do seem to have so many side effects. I was just discussing that with someone yesterday. You solve one problem and bring on others. For right now, you just need to be as comfortable and pain-free as you can.
I am thinking about you. I am sad that this is not going the way you had hoped.