I have still not been able to get into the groove of writing often. I don't know if it is I don't have anything to write, or that I have so much I don't know where to start.
I have had lots of good things going on in my life and I have been busy enjoying them. I seem to be re-entering my life again, and rejoining past groups and seeing older (read longer ) friends. It feels good and makes me realize that my mind set must be in a better place.
Over the past year and a half I have been grieving losses. And most recently, the loss of my dog Bilbo. I got her about six months after my diagnoses and never believed that I would out live her. Yet, as life normally does , it surprised me. I had known since the summer that her time was limited because the spunk was just not there. After my move in November she just went down hill quickly and so I made the difficult decision to let her go. It was horrible! I miss her so much and I found myself going into a depression. I know there were other factors but this seemed to be the straw. I was spending way too much time on my own and even not leaving my apartment for days on end. There is something to be said for an animal at least getting you up and dressed. I don`t think I realized how much time I spent with her and fulfilling her needs. So the winter has been a long, cold and lonely one. I have two cats but even they seemed to realize that something was amiss. They were close to her so I think they noticed the void too.
Well, last week all that changed. I got a new puppy! It was a long prayerful decision and I know that it was the right one. She is absolutely wonderful, even amidst all the training, nipping, crying, early morning, late night wakening. She keeps me busy, my mind focused and my day full. I have done more walking, bending, crouching, crawling, and jumping in the past week than I have in many months. I think I am in better shape than I have ever been. So, a new chapter begins.
And in about a month I will be welcoming my first grandchild. So, life is good and moving forward and ``all seems well with the world`` .,
Interesting how important our pets can be in keeping us from sliding down that slippery slop of self doubt, self loathing. I feel invigorated and energized at the same time exhausted!!!!!! Can`t wait till the baby comes then I will be really tired lol!
So here`s hoping maybe I will be more able to put word to page if even just to tell about the daily antics of my little Miss Maize.....