Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Self Reflection and Thanksgiving

Just spent a glorious long weekend among friends and family.   The weather was absolutely incredible for this time of year and so I decided to use it well.    Had turkey at friends, but BBQ'd at my house on the Monday.    Thanksgiving was a 'beer can' chicken and roasted potatoes and it was so good.  

These times give one a good excuse to pause and really look at the positive things in our lives.   What are we really thankful for, but also it offers us an opportunity to see what it is in our life that may not be so good.     Toxic relationships are often a good one to focus on.   We tend to surround ourselves on  holidays by the people who have been around since our childhood.   It doesn't mean that these people are healthy or good for us to be around.   Do we change in their midst, do we become someone we do not like to be, are we constantly struggling to put on a 'happy face'.  I am not suggesting that we do not include these people in our lives, but perhaps we can take some time to  reflect after the holiday and see how it is we can make changes in our own attitudes and judgements so that they don't affect us too much.

Holidays are wonderful times to sit around and go down memory lane, but for many they are a very tough time.   Being with family and friends who maybe aren't a major part of  your life anymore can be very stressful.    I believe that these are the times we can learn the most about our selves, and even work on those areas that we are not as happy about.  Instead of looking at the other person and wishing they were different, these gatherings can be a time for us to look at ourselves and try and be the best we can be.    Being patient, non-judgmental, accepting, loving....all the things we want the other to be of us.....first giving it to them and maybe just maybe over time it will be recipricated.

Holidays have always caused me much stress and distress.   I often want to crawl into a hole and wait till they are over.   Not any more.  I enjoy the times when we get together with others and do things differently, maybe even a bit more loudly.   I had a great weekend, and am reflecting on how I have grown over the years to enjoy those in my life, especially family, no matter who they are or what they bring to the table.    Reflecting on myself has been the key!

1 comment:

Birdie said...

I have a few interesting people in my family. I have also learned over the years to always make it about me. Why does my brother bring out anger in me? Why do I get so angry at a cousin that didn't show up to my Nana's funeral? It all starts with me. It all ends with me. And yes. I can't judge (even though I do!).