I began a post this morning very seriously and morose. Didn't really want to write but felt that often that is the time I need to the most. Then life intervened.....the dog needed to be walked. Isn't that what happens all the time? We are seriously thinking about all the problems of our world (meaning my little part thereof) and .....and it happened again! Writing along and the dog decides to jump up on my white love seat. Which wouldn't necessarily be a huge problem (even though she isn't allowed) but you see she came into heat last weekend......now that's a problem!!!!! Another snag as I had her scheduled to be spayed next week......life is so unpredictable!!!!!!
I realize that we are constantly looking one way assuming that is where our life is happening and WHAM (always wanted to write that :) our real life knocks us from the other side. Usually with just the mundane, everyday, easily dealt with problems, but occasionally (again an interruption...cat knocked over the baby gate). By the way I live in a menagerie of animals in case anyone is interested.
as I was saying, but sometimes life is big, and ugly and not so easily fixed. It is only at those times that we seem to be aware that our world is very much out of our control. Today I am more aware of just how unpredictable it is. I just usually fix the little interruptions and move on. Well, can't do that today! Off to see the oncologist and see what he has to say. Had all the tests and now we 'consult'. So life is interrupting in one of those 'big' ways and I am not happy!!!!! Even though I won't be finding out anything new (or hope not) but just the idea that this is not what I want to be doing today. I am at the mercy of the universe....which in reality is how I am always but don't notice because I live with this false sense of control and order.....and then WHAM (just had to write that again lol) I have to deal with something I don't want to, can't fix, or even feel is not right. All those adjectives seem to describe my life these days. I just want to sit and read, and knit, and play with my granddaughter but instead I have to live my life. Which obviously is more than just those simple things.
I did hear a quote yesterday that I thought was very good: "the difference between a happy ending and a sad ending is where you decide to stop the story" SO so true!!!!! This from a man who was lost at sea in a rubber dingy for 76 days......was rescued and then a few years later diagnosed with cancer!!!!!! My story is still unfolding, as is every one's no matter what the situation, so I don't even know if it will be happy or sad.....but if I have my choice I will choose a 'happy ending'! So, as I go about my day today I will recognize the 'real' life that is taking place around me rather than the life I think I am living today. It certainly makes for an unpredictable, often uncomfortable way to be, but entirely more interesting than the plans that I had set out.
One quote that I often use as my mantra during times like this (which are now that I see all the time!!)
"if you want to give God a laugh, tell God your plans for the day".......
.Obviously, God laughs a lot while watching me try to keep all the balls in the air.......today I am throwing one up and letting God catch it......easier to juggle with less balls!!!!!