Growing old......

Feeling a little old today.   Tired and sore and think I might be coming down with something.  Aside from those normal ailments though I am feeling a little down.    No reason to if one looks at the day.  Had a great time with family, and always great to have a little one around to make you smile.   I must say I miss those days when my daughter was so young and everything was new and exciting.

It just seems that life is moving by so quickly.  In many ways I am grateful that I can complain about that fact because 10 and a half years ago I would have thought I wouldn't be around at this point.   Initially, I had a very narrow window of a future according to statistics and thought I only had three more years.    Needless to say, I am one of the few people I know that loves to have a birthday, considering the alternative in my mind sucks.

I guess I am just realizing that I am at a point in life where I soon will be the generation at the top.   My mother is not well at the moment although it isn't anything serious.  Although when you are almost 87, anything can be serious.   She has been in hospital for a couple of weeks, which alone concerns me as it isn't very common anymore to have such extended stays....usually they are pushing you out the door as quickly as possible, even to the point of offering to call you a cab.   Being far away doesn't help because then I have to depend on others to give me updates and their impressions of how she is doing.    Phoned her and she sounded so tired.   I mean, soul tired, you know when it is an effort just to talk, to be seems to take a toll.   That makes me realize that she is old, not a politically correct statement I know but come on at some point lets call a spade a spade!!!!!   And then to top it off, I have a daughter who just turned 23 and so that makes me feel old......

I have been thinking alot about how fast life seems to go by.   We only have one day at a time, but it seems as you get older those days seem to fly by much more quickly.   It seemed like yesterday that I was 23, living near my parents, or maybe even with them, attending University wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my life.....well the rest of my life has come and I am still wondering what I am going to do.  The insides, my brain, seems to tell me that I am still that person, but the outside, the one I meet in the mirror periodically tells a whole other tale.   I still haven't been able to get used to her.....every time I look in a mirror or my reflection in a window I am startled and think "who the hell is that????."    Just goes to show that the saying you are as old as you feel is the correct one.....and also why I only have one mirror in my house!!!!!

So, I will reflect on this time in my life.   It is a time of great moments both good and bad, but I think that has been what life has always been.    I guess the main thing is to just be aware of how the world seems at any point in time.....