Exhaustion....the 'new' normal

I realize that I am really not the same person I was almost eleven years ago.   In many ways I have grown in positive ways, especially emotionally and spiritually.  In other ways I have lost much of the 'go get em' energy that I had all my life.   I was one of those people who never did anything slowly...everything was at full speed!   I can remember my mother commenting when I was young "I've never seen anyone who can get ready to go somewhere in such short time"....I was only about 8 at the time so it did slow down a bit when 'hair and makeup' entered the picture.....but again as usual I digress.

The point I am making is that I now need at least 24hours to recoup after anything that is different in my life.   I spent the entire day yesterday sitting in my 'knitting' chair catching up on Coronation Street episodes and knitting (2 socks)!!!!!   The reason being I was totally exhausted.   I had been the host to a lovely foreign student for two weeks which I completely enjoyed.    The thing is I had to be on the whole time.   I had thought that I really was doing pretty good but now I realize that my energy levels are anything but good.    I had virtually no energy reserve yesterday......it was as if I had run a marathon or maybe even an Iron Man.    I was never like that before.    Even as recently as two years ago I know my energy levels were better.   Part of it I am sure is age, I mean I am no spring chicken, but I am not senior home material either.    It is a bit discouraging when you realize that for every big thing you do you are going to have to spend a couple of days recouping.....I am not completely accepting of this reality.

So, today, again I would like to just sit and veg but the option is really not there.  I have things to do and places to go but maybe I will sit and knit just for a short while first.   There is certainly something to be said for 'slowing' down in life, but I would rather it be my choice not a necessity.    I still feel like I was hit by a Mac truck, every fibre of my body is screaming 'rest, rest, rest'.....this cancer sucks big time even when it doesn't knock you totally down.....I seem to be more reminded of my situation at moments like this than any other.

I also realize I must be tired because my last two posts have been 'whines' ( the kind that doesn't really make you feel better and w/o cheese!) which is not my usual positive/happy self....OMG I am truly human too...what a revelation....I must go and think on that new concept......

A Change is as good as a rest!!!!!

Spent a few days in the big city.   You don't have to go very far from home in order to take a break from reality and enjoy the moment as if nothing in the world was wrong.   I forgot how much energy the city sends out and how much of it is so positive and uplifting.   Walked miles and miles and got the endorphins charging.   Felt so alive and happy.   Haven't felt so good in a very long time.   Mostly windowed shopped and investigated new and interesting stores.  Met new people and was made to realize the networks that exist within the inner communities of the big city.   Found stores that sent us to other stores to people who introduced us to amazing restaurants.   Eat.....ate the most amazing food and shared good times with both old and new friends.  Watched people take advantage of moments, listened to fun stories and good music....   I had the best time and I was only 2 hours from home.   It was a time of rest and relaxation....maybe not rest.....and much needed new environments with no memories or old stories attached...everything was new and eye opening.  We all need to take these times away to recharge and open our eyes to the world that exists in the midst of our lives.......